Visions of family sprawled out on sofas, coffee cups strewn throughout the house, regularly scheduled programming abandoned, and extra bodies back within the embrace of home are the hopes that fill my mind as I think about gathering for the holidays.
And yet, I know, this year these visions may not become reality. Our ability to gather with loved ones might need to be relinquished as Covid-19 continues to disrupt plans and threaten lives.
I realize I have two choices as I ponder this very real possibility. I can give up, rant and whine, fume and get stuck in a cycle of “poor me”, or I can make plans to make the best of the situation. I can acknowledge my fears and disappointments, mourn the losses while at the same time looking for the possibilities of good within the change.
TIME TO PIVOT
To be honest, the thought of my husband and I not being able to celebrate with our two daughters fills my heart with dread. I know this would be very difficult. But I also know if I look for it, God is always offering light in the darkness, and a way forward when I cannot see it.
The prophet Isaiah reminds us:
“I will walk the blind by an unknown way
and guide them on paths they’ve never traveled.
I will smooth their difficult road
and make their dark mysteries bright with light.
These are things I will do for them,
for I will never abandon my beloved ones” Isa. 42:16 ptl
God has not left us to fend for ourselves. He has not abandoned this world, although there are days we wonder about that. No matter our circumstances we will still find God present with us.
Maybe this year, God can expand my imagination to make space for something new He is doing. My inability to celebrate the holidays in my normal ways can open the door to a garden of abundance I otherwise would be blind to.
There are ways I can serve in the community which I have never noticed or made the time for in previous years. People come to mind who also face a holiday season without loved ones, who we can care for and celebrate with (following proper guidelines of course). In such a time as this, we will be challenged to draw the circle of family larger, to include those we overlooked in the past. To truly become more like the family of God we were designed to be.
TIME TO ROLL UP MY SLEEVES
However, I am not just going to wait around and see what happens. I am going to begin my planning now to make the coming holiday season meaningful and inclusive. Instead of shrivelling up and wallowing in disappointment, I am going to focus on others and how I can make this season bright and beautiful for them.
Maybe it is time to revive snail mail and send cards and care packages to loved ones. We can deliver notes and treats to our neighbors. We can make use of all the good things about the technology we have access to today. I can send daily text messages as a count-down to the holiday, or videos updates, or have my computer set up on the table so absent family and friends can still share the meal virtually. For my daughters who still don’t know how to cook a festive meal, UberEats can deliver delicious treats to their door. And even if the holidays are shared with only my husband, I can still decorate and bake and enter into the celebrations with my whole heart.
My home may be quieter and neater over this coming holiday season, devoid of the presence of the ones I love most in the world, and I may be grieving. Even in this, God is with me.
Our grief at the thought of separation is a symptom of our deep love. We have been designed for connection, and feel the loss when it is denied.
A PRAYER
May this time of missing our loved ones break us open in the best of ways. May it expand our hearts to include others into the circle of family. May we receive courage to love well even during this time of absence. And may our sorrowing hearts become the rich soil in which God can till and transform with His deep abiding joy.
